Uranus is pretty grounded in Taurus already and it is blessing many of us empathic souls with some life-enhancing insights. I have a natural fascination about the “starving archetypes” series and the ways they get kind of coagulate around the Victim mindset and identity (not only because of the nuances of my own birth chart, but because I really feel that this equation is really what haves most of the world going round).
Many of us are indeed empathic souls that chose to be alive now to help on with this transition of Ages. The chironian quality of our Fates often marks many of us with a deep shame about not fitting in the tribe and keeps us looping in our Victim consciousness like hopeless hamsters in a wheel, since we have been given few coordinates up to this point on how to deal with the complexity and the multiple layers that comprise and inform our emotions. Now the time has come to do something about this, which thrills those of us who have Mystical callings and Destinies.
If you have natal Chiron in Aries, for example, chances are that you have the Procrastinator archetype featuring strong in at least one area of your life. And then in comes Uranus the Liberator into Taurus to awaken you to the fact that finally letting yourself feel the pain of your orphanhood is not only ok but a necessity if you want to, in fact, open to the potential you accorded in your Soul Contract. Who could have told that Uranus could be, after all, loving, patient and thorough? Yes, the truth is that Uranus can pour its grace on us with taurean Love, if we only let it: we need to make our unfinished business with Pisces conscious first, if we really aspire to handle the voltage when turning over our starving archetypes (Shadow Prostitute included) so that we can engage de facto the radiant sovereignty of our 2nd chakra.
Such aspiration requires of us that we be counter-cultural: we will have to de-tribe ourselves in order to differentiate from the cultural heaven/earth split in which we were conceived, born, bred. We will have to “die” to that identity in the flares of some alchemical fires. And the way to venture into that is by: 1) paying the Guide that shows you the way across dimensions, 2) feeling through your feelings all the way: you cannot be functional in your evolution anymore without the GPS of your Emotional System.
One or both of these points are easier said than done. That is why Uranus and the stellium in Capricorn come in timely to pull the rug from under our feet: we are to touch base with our Faith again… And this is where those of us with a strong but unconscious Orphan archetype get the chance to reclaim the (unfelt) pain that we had held in the closet- we finally realize that the solution had been all the while in our “problem”. What do I mean by this? Let´s indulge in some emotional and intuitive coaching to illustrate this point:
- Are you still postponing doing your thing in the world, being you and doing you, because you don´t want to feel, or are afraid of, the pain of feeling through the unconscious Envy of your mother/your father/ your family? If you and one of those “authority” figures in your life have crossed aspects in your charts (soft ones included!) that involve Saturn, this may well be the case. Now, how about the envy you harbor towards any of them? Do you allow yourself to feel it? Perhaps you don´t let yourself feel it because you believe that doing so would make you feel more overwhelmed by your feelings of orphanhood, the painful feelings of not having been accepted for who you really are. In order to avoid these inconvenient emotional truths ( both about you and about them) you may have been keeping your envy in your Shadow.
Now it is a good time to feel it through, because you know that you are safe if you feel that feeling … Nothing right or wrong- this is a holistic interactive dynamic and you are a sparkling part of that Love and Oneness. Feel it in and feel it through… and you will feel so much more whole and connected. Do this exercise and see how the pain of your Orphan feels less victimizing- hold it close to your mystical heart because it is trying to lead you to your Destiny.
- Are you keeping yourself out of the business of hearing the knocking on your Mystical door because you are in unconscious rebellion with the unlived dreams of one or both of your parents that collapse your potential? This may be one of the manifestations of your crossed Jupiter aspects. If for example your father´s Jupiter is in aspect to any of your personal planets in your second house, he may have projected his unconscious greed on you to overcompensate for his shortcomings in opening himself up to his own potential in the material world. And my point here is: Are you going to make any shifts by cycling this astrological clue in your mind? No, you aren´t. You are going to hit some tipping points and come to terms with your own aspirations, if you allow yourself feel how this overcompensation feels in your body, feeling how you may have defended yourself of this parental overcompensation and greed projected on you- what feelings and behaviors triggered all this unconscious greed and the way you made, or still make, false gods and let yourself be worshiped as a false god… (…). It´s ok, just feel it through, there is nothing to judge: we are All One. … Astrology from now on, if it is meant to be useful and serve, is corporeal and explained through the feelings and sensations as they are occurring in your body. Drop down: feelings first, meaning later.
- Another feeling that often comes with the pack of the Orphan Child is the conditional love of one or both parents or caretakers. As children, feeling the truth of this reality – and feeling the reality of this truth- makes us feel inadequate and increases our Shame; since we are not yet psychically equipped to deal with that lack of parental presence and acceptance as it is, we tend to make it all about us and figure out that we are not worthy of love, that we have no value. This belief can get so entrenched in our subconscious that it can make us doubt if we deserve to survive at all, thus forging a whole system of esteem based on lack and a starving feeling that pervades everything and alienates us from our core inner Joy and faith. Rather than getting stuck in over-analyzing the condition of your natal Venus, or just thinking or believing that you will just take no heed of the superstitions and proverbial misunderstanding that still surround this planet… feeeel your Venus. Feel the pain, feel the disappointment, feel the unworthiness and the sadness of that Child, when she only got love if…. so and so happened. And then realize and feel how you may be dragging the same expectations into your love life today, or into the unconscious ways in which you expect to be appreciated and esteemed for what you do. Feel it, then you will be able to start grasping how your esteem is based on that lack of self-worth that keeps you away from discovering your talents, gifts and the ways in which you can give your soul currency while serving others. Feel- then you will open the door to real, organic shifts.
Not feeling your feelings may be keeping your Shadow Victim´s statu quo looping stronger, along with the whole team it constellated around it. If you have been holding yourself from feeling through all the feelings and the gifts that your Orphan pattern has in store for you, I would like to encourage you to take a chance, because your dragons are there waiting for you to hug them. Rest assured that you are enough, no matter what you decide to do and whether you decide to take some risks into your own feeling nature, and into the rich truths that your own physical body can reveal, or not.
Rosana Cueto Merayo
*The mandala is the image of my first and new book, born while my Chiron return is approaching, “Los Tres Pilares de Tu Destino” (self-published).